BURTON’S infamous rising bollards are now becoming an online phenomenon after an autobiographical web page attracted 450 followers.
A Facebook profile for ‘Burton Bollard’ has been created by an anonymous Burtonian which has been detailing its life since January and how many vehicles it has managed to impale.
The bollard, which apparently is ‘male and in a relationship,’ says it works for Staffordshire County Council as a rising bollard and is also ‘studying people skills at Burton College’.
As its favourite pastimes, it enjoys ‘taking out cars’ and its favourite television programmes include Top Gear and On the Buses.
As additional features, it says: “I am designed to implode underground when hit strongly by a vehicle (stupid driver), to minimise damage to vehicles and to be easily repaired and reinstated and then kill again.”
The bollard, which says its location is ‘closest to the spade’ — a reference to the Malt Shovel sculpture at the junction of High Street and New Street — has received praise and messages from its hundreds of followers after it posted numerous articles from the Mail detailing its latest vehicle-skewering escapades.
However, it remained quiet when it hospitalised a female motorist last month.
The notorious traffic control scheme was installed by Staffordshire County Council in November 2008 in a bid to stop motorists flouting traffic restrictions through the town centre, but has proved a problem to many visitors to Burton who claim not to have noticed the warning signs.
Since its inception it has claimed at least a victim a month on average.
The latest has included journalists from the Western Daily Press, whose £17,000 BMW company car was damaged after they followed a bus into High Street.
In response to its online friends, the bollard said: “Cars, vans and any other four-wheeled vehicle, I just to love to pop up and say hello to them.”
It has also questioned why it has no night-time victims, saying: “I don’t understand why on earth I don’t claim victims at night, where I am barely visible, yet in the day when I am very visible in daylight, I claim many victims.”
Often, when it hasn’t claimed a ‘victim’ for a while, the bollard’s mind wanders to more mundane subjects such as the weather.
It said: “This weather is beautiful.
“All I need now is a nice refreshing drink of oil from a nice friendly car.”
The bollard also reveals it has expensive tastes, saying in one post: “Bored of seeing yellow, green, white and red buses; what I want is a Bentley to come along.”
